I recently learned that my best friend's mother has a friend who blows glass as a hobby. I've seen some of his pieces and they're absolutely stunning. It's hard to believe something so beautiful can be made by a hobbyist. I guess I always thought glass-blowers had to dedicate all of their time and energy into their creations.
As I think about it more and more, I realize that in many ways, I'm just like the glass Mr. Rowe can blow. Like his sculptures, I am fragile, I was created by an artist with beautiful skill, and I am completely different from any of the other creations by this artist. However, in stark contrast to the glass, when broken, I can be completely repaired; although I don't always remember that in the moments my life seems to shatter.
My freshman year of college (although only a few months under my belt) seems like a blur in my mind's eye. I look back and see a different person--one I'm ashamed of. I can't help but be disgusted by the way I handled situations, responsibilities and friendships. The worst part about it, I think, is that even though I thought I had no control of my actions then, I definitely have no control over them now.
Control is a funny thing, really. Consider driving a car. While driving, you have complete "control" over the vehicle; the acceleration, the brakes, the steering, the music, etc...BUT if something in the vehicle's engine were to fail, your "control" would be gone. So in all reality, driving has nothing to do with control and everything to do with faith.
So it is with our lives. We, as people, seem to think we have "control" over what will happen tomorrow, or in an hour...or within minutes. BUT, when we actually put into perspective the fact that God is the only one in true control, we realize that we can only live fully by living in faith. We can plan until we're blue in the face, but if we don't have faith, our plans can come crashing down at any moment.
Faith is a tough thing to live by though. In a world that claims "SEEING IS BELIEVING!", we can easily find ourselves trapped within an idea that fully defies what the Word clearly teaches.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1.
Scary how completely adverse the two statements are...yet, we as believers are forced to believe one or the other. Matthew said it perfectly in chapter 6 verse 24, "You cannot be slave to two masters...". In this case, we can't trust that "seeing is believing" AND trust that "...faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
I went through my fair share of shattering moments in my first year at school. And when I look back, I realize that some of my hardest times were when I simply demanded control. And, of course, some of my easiest times were when I whole heartedly believed that God was in control; when I simply lived by faith.
Regardless of the billions of times I felt like my life was shattering before my very eyes, I have been made new. I am made new each morning, actually. I am "a new creation" (2 Corinthians 5:17) every single day because of the great love of my Savior and my God. Because of His sacrifice and His wounds, mine have been healed.
When all seems lost, I find refuge in knowing that He has the best super glue of all--He has perfect, flawless love. When I am cracked, and broken, and feel lost, He never ceases to come to me in my darkest place, pick up the broken pieces and whisk me away to His repair shop. It is there that I find peace, and love. And I pray that you find it, too.